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I LOVE YOU, BUT I HATE YOUR POLITICS: How to Protect Your Intimate Relationships in a Poisonous Partisan World
Psychotherapist Jeanne Safer suggests concrete ways to mend relationships that have been strained by political differences
Since the election of Donald J. Trump, political differences have been ravaging our personal relationships like never before. This already widespread phenomenon will continue to grow unless we can learn to fight it. Drawing from fifty interviews with politically-mixed couples and her own experiences as a die-hard liberal happily married to a stalwart conservative, Dr. Jeanne Safer offers us a path forward in this practical guide to maintaining intimate relationships in our increasingly divided world.
The book is part relationship guide, part anthropological study, and it’s sure to educate and entertain anyone who has felt the strain of political differences on their personal relationships. No matter which side of the fence you’re on, Dr. Safer offers frank, practical advice for salvaging and strengthening your bonds with your loved ones. I Love You But I Hate Your Politics is required reading for any politically-minded friend, relative, or significant other in the Trump era.
Jeanne Safer, PhD, a psychotherapist in New York City, is the author of The Golden Condom, Cain’s Legacy, Beyond Motherhood, and several other books. Dr. Safer has appeared on The Daily Show and Good Morning America as well as numerous NPR broadcasts. Her work has been the subject of articles in the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal. She blogs for The Huffington Post and Psychology Today, and is the host of the I Love You But I Hate Your Politics podcast.
Advice includes the following rules of engagement for political arguments with loved ones:
1. Friends don't let friends drink and discuss politics.
2. Listen as much as you talk.
3. Never conduct a political fight via email or text message.
4. Never thrust and unsolicited partisan article on your loved one.
5. Political fights are unwinnable. Accept that you can never, ever change another person's mind about politics or anything else--and stop trying.
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